If There Were No Monsters and No Magic
by Koinaka
Summary: rewrite of my first fic of the same name Bella chooses Jacob in Eclipse. The world isn't exactly the way it's supposed to be, but Bella is well on her way to her happy ending when Fate rears it's ugly head. Past & Present J/B, Past E/B, future -/-.
1. Prologue

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A/N: Thank you for taking the time to read the rewrite. Hope everyone enjoys it.

Summary: AU set five years after the end of Eclipse (Epilogue - what epilogue?). _"I'm exactly right for you, Bella. It would have been effortless for us — comfortable, easy as breathing. I was the natural path your life would have taken… If the world was the way it was supposed to be, if there were no monsters and no magic…" _Jacob Black to Bella, Eclipse: Chapter 26, p.599. Bella chooses Jacob in Eclipse. The world isn't exactly the way it's supposed to be, but Bella is well on her way to her happy ending when Fate rears it's ugly head.

Pairings: Normal Cullen Pairings, Normal Werewolf Pairings, Past & Present J/B, Past E/B, End Pairing -/-?? (It's a surprise, silly.)

Warnings: Spoilers for the first three books.

If There Were No Monsters and No Magic

By: _Koinaka_

Prologue

The envelope lay discarded on the table, still unopened where it would stay for the discernible future if Bella had any sense of self-preservation. When Isabella Black nee Swan opened the mailbox that afternoon, she had expected many things; bills, magazines, and, of course, the customary junk mail. What she hadn't expected was the thick, cream-colored envelope with a return address that made her chest constrict painfully and her breath come in short gasps. _The Cullens. S_o surprised to see that name that she had dropped it on the ground and spun around, her eyes darting across the edge of the forest. Once she was certain, well, as certain as she _could _be, that there was no one there, she had run into the house.

Why, after nearly four years had passed, were they contacting her now, and by letter, of all things? She shook her head in an attempt to clear thoughts of baseball, Italy, and other forbidden things out of her mind. Arms wrapped across her body, she felt the familiar ache begin to spread across her chest; the once healed hole tearing once more.

She sat on the floor with her back against the door for several more minutes before finally standing up. She snatched the envelope off the table and ripped it open before she lost her nerve. She blinked once, twice, three times at the contents. All there was in the envelope was a letter; and by letter, she meant the paper that contained one sentence in Alice's elegant script, and two first class tickets, one adult, one child, to Hanover, New Hampshire. The letter read: _If you ever find yourself stranded..._

A fluttering against her stomach brought Bella firmly to the present - a present the Cullens were not a part of. Resting one hand on the swell of her small, but growing daily, belly, she stuffed the tickets back into the envelope and put the entire thing in her pocket. She could not deal with this, whatever _this_ was, now. Jacob and Catherine would be home soon. With a sigh, Bella went to the cabinet and started gathering the stuff to make dinner.

She was putting the finishing touches on a salad when she heard the front door open and close.

"You're right on time! Dinner's ready," she called.

When she didn't get a reply, she peered over the wall. Jacob was standing there, staring intently at a picture of two of them at their wedding, a despondent look on his face. "Hey, where's Catherine?" she asked, walking over and wrapping her arm around his waist. She pulled away when she felt him stiffen in her arms.

"I dropped her off at Sam and Emily's," he said flatly.

"Oh," she said, her brow furrowed in confusion. "Why? Everything okay?"

"No." He shook his head. "It's not."


	2. Chapter One

Summary: AU set five years after the end of Eclipse (Epilogue - what epilogue?). _"I'm exactly right for you, Bella. It would have been effortless for us — comfortable, easy as breathing. I was the natural path your life would have taken… If the world was the way it was supposed to be, if there were no monsters and no magic…" _Jacob Black to Bella, Eclipse: Chapter 26, p.599. Bella chooses Jacob in Eclipse. The world isn't exactly the way it's supposed to be, but Bella is well on her way to her happy ending when Fate rears it's ugly head.

Pairings: Normal Cullen Pairings, Normal Werewolf Pairings, Past & Present J/B, Past E/B, End Pairing -/-?? (It's a surprise, silly.)

Warnings: Spoilers for the first three books.

If There Were No Monsters and No Magic

By: _Koinaka_

Chapter One

Life is nothing more than a series of moments woven together. Bella, as a photographer, understood this better than most. Photography was not something she was interested in through high school. No, it was something she stumbled across in what she now termed the aftermath of Edward, when she thought of it at all. It was her crutch then, in those dark times when she could barely function, when she was across the country with no sun to give her light. Somehow, it made it easier, _safer_, to observe the world through a lens instead of actually participating in it. Eventually, when the pain was more bearable, it became her passion. Because photographs were _proof_. Proof that moments _actually_ happened. So, Bella spent as much time as she could capturing moments, some her own, some of others. But this... this moment. It needed no photographs to remember. In fact, Bella wished, more than she had ever wished that this moment had _not _happened.

"Say something," pleaded Jacob.

"What?" Bella said, her tone bitter, "What should I say, Jacob?"

"I don't know."

"You said it would never happen to you," her tone was accusing now.

"I didn't think it would," he murmured.

"You _promised_ me. You _married_ me!" Her voice cracked, then, and the tears that had been burning behind her eyes finally spilled down her cheeks.

"I know."

"And now what? You're just going to throw this away? Throw away our marriage, our _family_ just like that?"

Jacob was pacing now, walking the floor in between their television set and their couch endlessly. Bella sat, unmoving on the couch, one hand clenched in a tight fist, the other resting protectively over the swell of her stomach. Jacob ran a hand through his loose hair and let out a long sigh.

"Not _just like that_, Bella. Do you have any idea what this is like for me? I've spent the last month trying to ignore it, hoping it would just go away, but it won't, and I can't do it anymore, Bella. I _can't_."

"Oh," Bella stammered. She felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. "The last _month_," she repeated, and suddenly she was gasping for breath because she knew, then, that this was truly happening. Because she remembered, with perfect clarity, that day - the day when everything had changed, if she had been strong enough to admit it then.

_A Month Earlier _

Sunlight flooded their small bedroom, aroma of breakfast permeated the air, and childish laughter echoed off the walls. None of these very common occurences were what woke Bella up, however. No, it was a delicious heat tracing patterns on her still mostly flat stomach that roused Bella from her nocturnal world. The fingers were soon replaced by a pair of lips. Bella shivered after said lips pressed a kiss to the naked skin before the lips, and presumably the body attached to them, continued their upwards journey, trailing kisses as they went. By the time she felt a puff of warm air ghost over her lips, all semblance of sleep was gone, and she lifted her head to meet Jacob in a fervent kiss.

"Good morning," Jacob murmured huskily once they parted.

Bella's only response was to grab a hold of his t-shirt with one hand and pull him back down to her. Her other hand buried itself in his ebony locks.

"Mornin'," she mumbled against his lips before she nipped his bottom lip and deepened the kiss. Jacob groaned and pressed against her, his hardness becoming more evident to her as their kiss continued.

Bella pulled away only long enough to pull her t-shirt over her head. Jacob was about to do the same when a cheer erupted from the living room.

"Crap," groaned Jacob. "I forgot the reason I came in here in the first place. Our dads are in the next room. There's a ball game on today, but they've agreed to babysit so we can go to Seattle and pick up the cradle from that store..." he trailed off, unable or, more likely, unwilling to continue with that train of thought when Bella's hips thrust up to meet him.

"Bella," he gasped as Bella's hips continued moving against him. "They're right in there! What if they hear?"

Bella gave him a pointed look before grinning wickedly. "Then you'll just have to be very quiet, won't you?" She said as she unfastened his pants and slipped one of her small hands inside.

There was another cheer, followed by a crash, and then a giggle.

"Jake?" called Charlie, "Got any clean towels in there?"

With a sigh, Jacob untangled himself from Bella and got off the bed. He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'll go. You stay in bed."

Sighing herself, she shook her head. "No, I'm up now. Besides, I smell breakfast, and that must mean one of _you_ cooked. I should, at the very least, go and see what damage was wrought on my kitchen." She fumbled for her t-shirt and put it back on.

"Hey," said Jacob, defensively. "I _can_ cook, you know."

"Sure, sure. If by cook you mean pour milk and cereal into a bowl," Bella said, teasingly, grinning at her husband.

"Yeah, well, that just shows how much _you _know because I can also make toast," he retorted triumphantly.

"And we all know how difficult _that _is." She disappeared into the bathroom, and when she returned, she was fully dressed and carrying a towel. "Come on, then, let's see what you cooked me."

The kitchen, it seemed, was undamaged. The same could not be said for Catherine, their two-year old daughter.

"Mama!" she squealed when she caught sight of Bella. "Ball!" She said and offered a very sticky baseball to Bella. The hand that held the ball was just as sticky the ball was - along with everything else on her. She was wearing a tiny little Mariner's uniform that was soaked with what appeared to be orange juice.

"We had a bit of an accident," Charlie admitted, gesturing to the puddle of orange juice on the floor. "She's got an arm on her, that's for sure," he muttered.

Bella narrowed her eyes at her father. "Small?" she echoed, handing him the proffered towel and scooping the sticky toddler into her arms. She peppered the tiny girl with kisses. "What in the world was your grandfather thinking?" she asked.

Catherine giggled. "Ball!" she repeated, handing the ball to Bella. Bella took it from the small girl and dropped it in her father's lap.

"I can see that. You, little girl, are in need of a bath," Bella said, taking the now squirming girl into the bathroom.

Half-an-hour later, the two of them emerged, Catherine clean and dry, Bella, slightly damp.

Charlie, Billy, and Jacob were engrossed in the baseball game, but upon seeing Bella, they looked appropriately contrite.

"Sorry, Bells," Jacob said. "I suppose _we_ could have given her a bath. Come here, my little Kit Kat."

Bella growled low in her throat. "How many times do we have to go through this? My daughter is _not_ a candy bar!"

"Sure, sure," Jacob said, easily, as he tickled Catherine mercilessly for a few seconds.

Bella glowered at him, but he was not deterred at the least. He deposited Catherine in Charlie's lap and grabbed Bella's hand, pulling her towards the door.

"Have fun kids," called Charlie, not even bothering to take his eyes off the screen. Catherine was mimicking Charlie's posture, staring at the screen with a look of concentration.

"Please _try_ to make sure my house _and_ daughter are in _one_ piece when we return," Bella pleaded.

"This may come as a surprise to you, Bells, but between Billy and me, we've raised four kids. I'm sure we can handle _one_ two year old for the afternoon."

"And you two turned out just fine," Billy interjected.

Bella cast a sideways glance at Jacob warily. Somehow, she was not reassured, but they had watched Catherine before, and she was always returned - relatively - unscathed.

"Fine," she conceded.

"Kids are pretty resilient, you know?" Charlie said, helpfully, "You survived Renee after all."

Bella opened her mouth, but before she could reply, Jacob was dragging her out the door.

The car ride to Seattle was pretty quiet. They talked about inconsequential things, and Bella dozed off and on for a good deal of the trip. This pregnancy was already taking it's toll on her and she hadn't even reached the twelve-week mark yet. That was to be expected as she was having twins, but she still wasn't used to the exhaustion -- or the ridiculous bouts of morning sickness.

Charlie's mentioning of Renee had caused Bella to face a frightening truth. She was going to have to tell Renee she was pregnant - again. To say Renee had been displeased the first time would be a vast understatement. One wedding would have been more than enough for Renee. She had given Bella minimal support when she had announced her impeding nuptials to Edward though she hadn't bothered to mask her relief when Bella had called it off. When Bella called to tell her she had married Jacob, Renee let her know what a huge mistake she had made. When Bella told her she was pregnant the first time, they had the worst fight they'd ever had; both saying things they should _not _have said.

"_You are ruining your life!" _

_"No," Bella had said coolly, "I don't think I am. I love Jacob, and we might be young, but this is right for us." It hadn't been exactly planned, but Bella had had no intention of telling her mother that. _

_"Love him, then, if you insist on it, but a child, Bella... Don't you realize you're trapped there now? Is that what you want? To turn out like me? Stuck in a miserable little town in an unhappy marriage with a child that you..." Through the phone, Bella could nearly hear her mother's jaw snap shut. _

_"Don't want?" Bella finished for her, her voice thick with tears. "Like you didn't want me?" _

_"That's not what I meant -" _

_Bella cut her off then. "No, Mom, I do understand, really. I was more a mother to you than you were to me, after all. When I should have been worried about homework and friends, instead I was worried about whether you would remember to pay the bills or buy groceries, or if you would finally manage to kill yourself in another one of your 'hobbies'. So, I doubt I could ever turn out like you because I will never treat my child like that or like this." _

The silence after that was deafening.

She hadn't spoken to her mom again until Catherine was nearly two months old, and Catherine was eight months old before Renee or Phil met her in person. All in all, Bella wanted to avoid telling her altogether, though she knew it was inevitable.

"I know that look," Jacob commented from the seat next to her.

"Oh?" asked Bella, arching an eyebrow, "Do you now? And what, exactly, does this look mean?"

"You're thinking of Renee."

Bella scoffed but then sighed. She chewed on her bottom lip, brushing a piece of her brown hair behind her ear. "Fine, you're right, I am."

Jacob let out a barking laugh. "Just tell her and get it over with. I don't know how many more nights I can stand to listen to you practice speeches in your sleep."

She shot him a sharp look. "_You _tell her if you think it's so easy!"

A grimace was his only response.

The furniture store Bella had wanted to go to was really just a fancy name for the home of an elderly man who refinished antiques. Bella had discovered an absolutely darling little cradle while wandering at a flea market with Emily only days after she had found out she was pregnant. They still had the crib Catherine used, but Bella hadn't been able to pass this find by. This had turned out to be a good thing as it wasn't long after picking up the crib they found out about the twins.

Jacob left Bella in Barnes and Noble while he drove the fifteen minutes to pick up the cradle. Bella was ecstatic for the chance to browse the store alone, but when Jacob returned with a haunted look about him, she wished that she had gone with him. If for no other reason, than to know for sure what had happened. He had assured her he was fine, but it was clear he was not.

Since that day, he had been different. Angrier. Moodier. Unhappy. Bella had brushed it off as stress. He spent his days at the station, his nights either in the garage rebuilding cars for the few clients he had managed to scrape up or on patrol. She knew he worried about money a lot of the time, especially now. A new baby would have certainly made things tighter, but two would be more than a bit of a strain.

It all hit her like a ton of bricks; Jacob's extra hours in the shop, his seemingly unnecessary trips to Seattle for parts he "couldn't buy in Forks or Port Angeles." They were supposedly for a new client he had received, but now she realized, with horror, that maybe it wasn't a for client after all. Maybe he'd been seeing _her_ all along. His imprintee. His soulmate.

"Oh," she said softly, dumbly, "Oh," she repeated once more. "You've been seeing her, haven't you?"

Jacob was staring transfixed at the floor, unable to meet her penetrating gaze, but finally he nodded once. "I have, but not like you think, Bella. I would _never _do that to you, you know that. We're only friends now, nothing more." The _yet_ went unsaid.

Bella sent him a withering look which may have been more effective had she not been crying. "Do I know that?" she said, scathingly, "I don't think I do. It's obvious that I know nothing about you. Because the Jacob _I _know wouldn't _abandon _his family for someone he's only friends with."

"I'm not abandoning you, Bella. You act like I have a choice. I don't! You knew the risks before you got into this," he said. "It happened to Quil, Jared, and Sam. Not to mention Seth," he paused then. Seth's imprinting had surprised _everyone_. "I should have - _we _should have - realized it was inevitable. It's fate, and I can't fight it. Please don't ask me to. I love you, Bells, that hasn't changed, but I can't be with you that way anymore."

"You love me," she whispered brokenly. "Not enough though, never enough. _I _am never enough. Always lacking. Wasn't enough for _him_, not enough for you. Oh, _God_," she moaned as a wave of nausea threatened to send her to the floor retching. Her arms were wrapped around herself, but not tight enough, not nearly tight enough.

"Bella, no - it isn't that! I swear," his voice broke then, the moonlight illuminating the tears as the fell down his tanned skin. "You _are_ enough, I just... I _hate this! _I should get a choice, damn it!" he snarled.

Bella's heartbeat was beating wildly in her chest, the sound of it echoing in her ears. _Fate_. Her breathing hitched. _Soul mate_. She shivered. _Choices_. And that's what is all boiled down to, really. Their choices. Jake's choices. Bella's choices. Leaving Renee. Coming to Forks. Going to the beach. Meeting Jacob. Falling in love with Edward. Edward leaving. The period of darkness she could barely remember. Buying the motorcycles. Finding her own personal sun. Edward coming back. Choosing _him_. Leaving _him _at the altar. Loving Jacob. Marrying Jacob. Scenes flashed through her head; her life - _their_ life - set on a never ending loop, and it was all too much for her. She stood up suddenly, she took one last look at Jacob before darting towards the front door.

"I've got to go get Catherine," she said.

"Wait, Bella, please don't leave like this. I can't stand to see you like this, and to know that _I'm _the reason why. I don't want to hurt you."

"And yet you do," she murmured before leaving the house, and Jacob, behind. She walked mechanically out to her small car. Her old truck had finally breathed it's last breath three years ago, and by then, Charlie had been more than happy to help the young couple buy a car deemed safe enough for Bella and the baby.

Bella let out a shuddering breath as she thought of Charlie. If Renee was unhappy with her choices, Charlie was the exact opposite. He had been more than thrilled when Bella and Jacob got together. He already thought of Jacob as the son he never had, and where Renee thought Bella was making a mistake, Charlie had been ecstatic when Catherine was born. Having missed out on so much of Bella's childhood, he really relished watching Catherine grow up. This would be difficult to explain to him.

She parked in front of Emily and Sam's house and took a minute to attempt to pull herself together. She was fairly certain everyone inside would already know--there are no secrets in a wolf pack after all. She wasn't going to stay long though; _couldn't_ stay long, really, because she knew that seeing Emily and Sam together would break her heart all over again. Their love was too much even when Bella had been happy, but now..._now_, she knew she couldn't handle it.

Her hand was raised, poised to knock, when the door opened. Emily ushered her inside, pressing a cup of tea in her hands as she pushed her into a chair.

"Catherine's asleep," Emily told her when she looked around for signs of her.

Bella nodded slowly, taking a long sip of tea. Finally when the silence stretched into several minutes, she sighed. "What do I do?" she whispered.

Emily's ruined lips turned in a sad smile. "What do you think you should do?"

Bella shrugged. "I can't stay there - here," she clarified, softly. "It would be too hard to see... well, everyone really."

"You should go, then. But this is _your _home, too, Bella, and we all care about you. That isn't going to change."

"Where would I go, if I left?" Bella asked, herself more than Emily. The plane tickets were heavy in her pocket. _If you ever find yourself stranded_... No, no, _no_, she couldn't go there, wouldn't go there. "Renee and I barely speak anymore, and my dad... he loves me, but he can't possibly understand what is going on."

Emily nodded sympathetically. "You are welcome to stay here with us for a while, if you need to. You know that, right? Sam and I both adore Catherine."

It was true. Catherine was the first child born to a member of the pack, and it certainly showed. She had the entire pack - even Paul and Leah, two of the more difficult members - wrapped around her tiny finger.

"Thank you," she told Emily earnestly, "For everything, really. You've been a wonderful friend, but I couldn't impose. I'll just spend the night with Charlie tonight. Things will look better in the morning." She _hoped_ they would, at any rate.

"Of course." Emily took the cup out of her hand and sat it down on the table. "Catherine's on my bed. I'll just go get her for you. Her bag is on the couch."

Emily followed Bella out to her car and embraced her tightly after she buckled Catherine into her car seat. "Call me if you need anything."

The drive was a blur to Bella, and she barely recognized the house she pulled up to, though she should have. She certainly spent enough time there--rather _Catherine_ spent a lot of time there.

With her daughter in one arm, she used her free arm to knock on the door.

The door opened quickly. "I thought you would turn up here," was the dry comment.

"I just... can I..._we..._ can we come in?" Bella asked.

Leah scowled, but moved aside so Bella could enter the house.


	3. Chapter Two

Summary: AU set five years after the end of Eclipse (Epilogue - what epilogue?). _"I'm exactly right for you, Bella. It would have been effortless for us — comfortable, easy as breathing. I was the natural path your life would have taken… If the world was the way it was supposed to be, if there were no monsters and no magic…" _Jacob Black to Bella, Eclipse: Chapter 26, p.599. Bella chooses Jacob in Eclipse. The world isn't exactly the way it's supposed to be, but Bella is well on her way to her happy ending when Fate rears it's ugly head.

Pairings: Normal Cullen Pairings, Normal Werewolf Pairings, Past & Present J/B, Past E/B, End Pairing -/-?? (It's a surprise,

Warnings: Spoilers for the first three books.

Author's Note: I've decided to continue this fic! I got bit by the Twilight bug again. So, here we go :D I am rewriting This chapter to adjust some things I need to adjust to do it right. I will start the next chapter this afternoon when I get out of Latin. I would really like some feedback though. Are you guys interested in me continuing this? I've also been playing around with redoing Fatal Temptation, but only in Jasper's Third Person POV. Please, let me know if you would be interested in that.

If There Were No Monsters and No Magic

By: _Koinaka_

Chapter Two 

Things weren't better in the morning. In fact, if it was even possible, things were worse. Bella had been awake for only seconds before she felt the familiar wave of nausea sweep over her, nausea that sent her running to the bathroom like it did many mornings -- and afternoons. She knew, from her experience with Catherine, that carrying a child with the werewolf gene was a bit more intense than a normal pregnancy. Combine that with the fact that she was carrying twins, and it was likely the "morning" sickness would plague her for the entirety of her pregnancy. Afterward, she pressed her heated cheek against the cool tile floor, her eyes closed tightly.

Sue Clearwater's house, like many of the other houses on the reservation, was on the smaller size, so she there was no reason to wonder what everyone was doing -- she could hear them. She could hear Catherine's shrieking giggles indicating her Se-se, as she called him, was playing with her. She could hear Sue watching some daytime talk show on their old television set. She could hear Leah's derisive comments on said talk show.

She wondered when Catherine had woken up and why she hadn't heard her. It wasn't like her to sleep so soundly. That thought caused her to rise off the bathroom floor, shaking her head slightly. She was no longer a teenager. She couldn't afford to fall apart at the seams. Not anymore, not now when she had someone depending on her to be strong, well, several someones depending on her. Although, in all likelihood, Seth had known she was awake long before she first stirred. No one had been more surprised than she had when Seth had imprinted on her only days old daughter. Jacob had been torn when it happened. He knew Seth had no choice, but he had still been wary. Now, though, she couldn't imagine life any other way. Catherine positively adored Seth. How aware she was of him, all of the time. How her dark eyes tracked him whenever he moved away from her. There was nothing indecent about it at all. They just simply _were_.

She rinsed her mouth out and threw some water on her face before exiting the bathroom, barely gazing into the mirror before doing so.

"You look like shit," Leah said when Bella entered the kitchen. She laughed at Bella's offended expression. "Hey, it's not like you came _here_ for comfort. You know me, Bella, I don't do that sympathetic shit. So, if you're looking for someone to wipe your tears and hold your hand, well, you're clearly at the wrong place. Emily's is where you should go for _that_, but I'm sure that thought's already crossed your mind." A sly smile covered her face, then. "Of course, I don't suppose you want to see Emily just now, do you?"

Bella shook her head. "Not really," she said with a sigh. It wasn't that she did not want to see Emily; really, at least not in the way Leah meant. It was just that while Emily could _sympathize_, she could not empathize with her. She had no idea what Bella was going through. No one, save Leah, could.

"Thought not," she said, smugly. "Seriously though, you look terrible. You should go take a shower. I'm sure Catherine is fine with Se-Se," her voice had a mocking edge to it now, "He hardly ever lets her out of his sight anyway. It's nauseating."

"Hey!" Seth protested indignantly from the living room.

"Yes, Se-se?" asked Leah, sweetly.

Seth heaved a heavy sigh, but seemed to decide against antagonizing his older sister, knowing, rightly, that it would get him nowhere.

Bella grimaced at the mention of her appearance, not that she had it in her to care what she looked like just then. "A shower does sound good, but I don't have any clean clothes here."

"Oh!" startled Seth. He came into the room a minute later with Catherine in one arm and a small bag - her overnight bag, to be exact - on the other. "Jake brought it over last, er, night. He thought you might need it. Sorry I forgot about it." A faint blush colored his cheeks.

Bella took the bag from Seth. So, Jacob knew where she was, yet hadn't bothered to try and talk to her. Not that she _wanted_ to talk to him right now because, truly, she didn't, but him _not_ seeking her out after a fight -- if that was what this was, anyhow -- was unusual. He had always been unusually persisted after they'd fought, as if to prove to himself that she was still there, that she _would_ still be there.

"He didn't think you would want to talk to him," Seth added when he saw what must have looked to be an affronted look on her face. "It was really late, too. You'd been asleep for hours."

"Hmm," Bella hummed, but said nothing. What could she say? That he was wrong? That she _wanted_ to see him? She didn't, or at least she didn't _need_ to see him, didn't think she could see him without falling apart again, without making things worse than they already were. She sighed. "You don't have to do that, you know."

Seth frowned. "Do what?" His brow was furrowed in confusion.

"Make excuses for him. Apologize for him. It's fine. _I'm _fine."

He gave her an incredulous look. "Yeah, sure you are." The sarcasm in his voice was heavy.

Bella sighed and pursed her lips. "Alright, I'm not fine, but I will be." One day. Maybe. _Hopefully_. In all actuality, she was still in shock. There was a part of her that refused to believe that her marriage was over.

The rest of the morning was pretty quiet, or at least as quiet as things ever are on the reservation. Bella played with Catherine and Seth while Leah tormented the various members of the pack who happened to drop by. None of which, Bella noted offhandedly, had mentioned Jake. In fact, after Seth's misstep earlier, _no one_ made any mention of Jake or anything relating to him for that matter. Bella thought the small reprieve from her misery was nice, but Bella found it all a bit odd. Not that she wasn't miserable -- because she was -- but she'd felt much worse before, and somehow this did not feel as permanent as _that_.

It was sometime after lunch, when Catherine finally consented to a nap, that Bella made the decision to go back home and pack their belongings. Jake would be at the station until late, so she was certain she wouldn't run into him.

Sure enough, Jake's squad car was not in the drive-way, nor was his Rabbit. Regardless, she slowly swung open the front door and looked cautiously around the living room before stepping inside and locking the door behind her. She walked quickly through the room, not able to bear being there for longer than it took to cross into the kitchen.

The kitchen was clean, so Jacob must have cleared away the stuff from dinner the previous night. The pressure in her chest began to build as she looked around the small kitchen and dining room. It was _here_ that Jacob had asked her to marry him, _here_ that they had squeezed all of the members of the pack into after their small ceremony on First Beach_, _and _here_ where she had first told Jacob she was pregnant. She could still remember the day Jacob had proposed to her.

After her near-marriage to _him_, Bella didn't think she ever would -- _could_ -- get married. Jacob had understood, or, rather, he had _said_ he understood, but there were times Bella knew that he was holding back on her account. A lot of the time, in fact. How often had Jacob had to put her back together? How many times had he made excuses for her, concessions for her? Too many to account for.

He had always been so mature, so grown-up, that it was hard to remember at times that he was younger than she was. Of course, being a wolf, a _protector_, hadn't helped matters any. Nor had it helped that Sam had stepped down from the position of Alpha not long before Jacob proposed. He had wanted to start a family with Emily, but hadn't felt he could do so and remain Alpha. Jacob had taken the position, albeit a bit reluctantly at first.

Once he was Alpha, however, he said that he felt an immediate relief, a calmness he'd never had before. As if leading the pack was the one thing missing in his life. To Bella, the change in him was noticeable; like night and day, the Jacob that was prone to fits of bitterness and rage was no more, and in his place was a much calmer, more controlled Jacob -- almost like the eerily calm Sam that Bella remembered from before. As a result from this, things also became much more serious between them, and before Bella knew it, she found herself agreeing to move in with him. Jacob joining the police force was another result from his becoming Alpha, one that Bella had initially been wary of. It was true that they needed the steady money it would provide, because although Jacob loved building and rebuilding cars, the truth was that it did not pay well -- at least with any regularity. Bella's photographs sold well enough whenever she submitted them. Not nearly enough to support a family on, or indeed, even herself on. So, Bella had learned to accept Jacob being in the line of fire. Of course, his being a werewolf was quite beneficial crime fighting.

Looking back, Bella remembered everything with about the day he'd proposed with perfect clarity.

There were still boxes everywhere, though they had been there nearly two weeks. Most of the boxes contained Bella's books, and she had chosen to leave them packed until the shelves Charlie had promised her were finished. Jacob was sitting in the dining room, the one room free of boxes, with his long legs stretched in front of him. Legs so long, in fact, they nearly reached the stove. Of course that was hard to achieve by any means.

"_Jake, move those death traps before I fall. I'm clumsy enough as it is, I don't need any help," _she'd said, laughing as she nearly tripped.

"_I'll catch you Bells, haven't I always?" _he'd replied, grinning, as he pulled her into his lap.

"_Sure, sure," _she had teased him. They sat there for a few minutes until Bella noticed the intent stare Jacob was directing at her, her face flushing red under his gaze.

"_You're going to give yourself a brain hemorrhage!" _She'd said as she laughed again.

"_Marry me," _he'd said, impulsively, his dark eyes burning into hers.

Bella wasn't sure which of them was more surprised when she'd nodded her consent.

So many happy memories had occurred between the walls of that house. It was her home -- _their _home. Not like Charlie's house or Renee's house. No, those weren't homes; they were merely houses. Well, Charlie's house had been a home once, but wasn't one any longer. This was a _home. _Jacob hadn't always felt that way, however. They'd had many arguments about the house, in particular the size of it.

"_Not as big as..._" he'd sometimes say if he were feeling particularly insecure. He never finished the sentence, but there was no need, really, as both of them knew exactly what Jacob meant. The Cullens, Edward specifically, were the pink elephants in the room whenever the two of them fought.

But to Bella, the house was absolutely perfect. Moreover, this was where they had married, where they had started their family, where they had continued their family, and now it was also where their family had ended. Now, it was little more than a crypt, Bella thought, shivering, and its darkened appearance and empty, silent rooms, did nothing but reinforce that alteration.

Slowly, she made her way through the small house to their bedroom. The door was closed, and Bella's hand rested on the doorknob for several seconds before she finally sighed and turned away from the bedroom. She went to the bathroom for a long shower instead. It was only afterward that she realized she hadn't brought any of her clothes with her into the bathroom. Jacob's pajamas were still hung on the hook on the back of the door where they always were. Stifling a sob, she pulled the t-shirt on her damp skin, leaving her own clothes on the floor.

Leaving the bathroom, she took a deep breath and entered their bedroom. Their bed was unmade which wasn't unusual, especially given that Bella had not slept there last night. Jacob wasn't one to make the bed; that had always been something Bella did every morning without fail.

Before she even registered what it was she was doing, she had crawled into the bed, pulling the covers up with her as she did. His scent was heavy on his pillow, and she inhaled it deeply several times. She hadn't even realized she was crying again until she noticed the dampness of the cloth against her face. She buried her face into the pillow and began to sob in earnest, letting out everything she'd been struggling to hold in since the previous night. She wasn't even sure how long she laid there sobbing, but eventually, when her sobs subsided, she sat up and wiped her eyes. She was preparing to get out of bed when flash of movement in the doorway. It was Jacob.

The raw pain on his face nearly ripped her in two. Every fiber of her being yearned to go to him, to comfort him, as if it was _her_ who was breaking _his _heart and not the other way around. Hadn't it always been that way? Hadn't his pay _always_ been hers?

His uttered, "_Bella,"_ was so soft she would not have heard it save for the silence the room was enclosed in.

At hearing her name, Bella's breath came in short bursts until she was on the verge of hyperventilation. She'd heard her name said that way once before. For the longest time, she'd thought it was a dream, but she knew it had actually happened. It was the night before _he _had left. She'd remembered him whispering it before jumping through the window for what he thought would be the last time.

It was the sound of goodbye, and though she had known it was coming, she had not been prepared for the reality of it. It was over; it was really _over_.

"Please," she heard herself say, as if from a distance. "Please don't do this, Jacob." She was sobbing again, and she knew how pathetic she must sound, really she did, but there was nothing she could do to stop the words from spilling out.

"You love me, I know you do," she continued, her voice frantic now.

Jacob was across the room nearly instantaneously, and Bella found herself encased within his warmth. She clung to him, but the embrace was different than before.

"I do," he said, softly, into her hair. "But this is something I have to do, Bells."

She went rigid in his embrace, then, and he, a bit reluctantly, it seemed, let her go. She darted away from him, crossing the room in a mere handful of steps.

Now standing across from him, she glared angrily at the wall above his shoulder, not able to look into his face.

"This is it, then? You _married _me! We have a daughter together. I'm pregnant as we speak -- with your children! You committed your life to me -- to us! I can't do this alone, Jacob, and I shouldn't have to. You can fight this. _I _did. I gave up everything - _everything_ - to be with you-" She clasped her hand over her mouth, her eyes widening as she realized what she'd said.

"No, you didn't give up everything to be with me, Bells. You would have given up everything to be with him though. Your mom, your dad, even your life. I can't say that I regret you giving that up at all." He rubbed his eyes tiredly and ran a hand through his hair. "Damn it, Bella, I don't have a choice! I tried to ignore it, but I can't keep doing it. And I can't keep having the same conversation over and over again."

"So, what am I supposed to do, Jacob?" she asked, her tear-filled eyes finally locking onto his. "Where are Catherine and I supposed to go? And the twins? What do I say to them? To anyone? It's not as if the truth is even an option, unless I wish to seem insane!"

"When the kids are old enough, we will tell them the truth. This is their birthright as well. Until then, I'm sure we can think of something," Jacob said, a faraway look in his eyes. "You can stay here. I'll go and stay with Quil and Embry for a while. You didn't think I would send you away, did you? Especially since it's my fault this is happening in the first place."

"No!" she blurted out, shaking her head wildly, her dark hair fluttering around her face as she did so. "I can't stay here." And she really didn't think she could. There were too many memories of him here; too many traces of him here to remind her of their life together. She never thought anything could be more painful than thinking _he _never existed, but this came close. To have everything around you remind you of what you had once had, what you had lost. No, she couldn't stay here. "I'll go to Charlie's," she found herself saying robotically, knowing even as the words left her mouth they were a lie.

Jacob accepted them at once, however, a relieved look flitted across his face. "That's good. I'm sure Charlie won't mind."

_That_ was an understatement. Catherine had Charlie wrapped around her little finger, he was putty in her more than capable hands. Charlie would love it if she stayed there.

Jacob gave her a sad smile. "I do still love you, Bells," he told her as he turned around to leave, "and I know it's hard now, but hopefully we can be friends again one day. I'll stop by in a day or two with the lawyer, and the preliminary paperwork. There's a lawyer in the tribe who is aware of our unique situation. He's pretty good, so he should be able to help us get it worked out."

"Paperwork?" Bella asked, confused.

"Yeah. Well, I mean, it will be easier to do through this guy. I mean, we can't exactly write imprinting under the reasoning for the dissolution of our marriage, can we?"

Bella let out a strangled breath. She had not been expecting that so soon. "You've really thought of everything, haven't you?" she murmured.

He shrugged his shoulders in an attempt to look nonchalant, but the pained expression on his face and the haunted look in his eyes gave his true feelings away. "Just thought a clean break would be better."

Bella nodded, her mind suddenly a million miles away, repeating the words as if it were a mantra: _clean break, clean break... _clean break.

"I'll just go, then." Jacob said a couple of minutes later when Bella still hadn't responded.

The moment he was out of her sight, Bella went to the nursery closet and pulled out her luggage. She hadn't used it since returning from Dartmouth, and, in fact, had not removed it from this closet since placing it there herself after they moved in. Not that it wasn't nice luggage. It was exceedingly nice; too nice to travel in or around Forks. She began pulling her clothes out of the closet and from her draws and when she was finished with that, she went into the nursery and packed Catherine's clothing up, stopping long enough only to put together a diaper bag and grab her camera equipment from the closet as well.

One by one, she carried everything out to her car. Numbly, she slid behind the steering wheel, tears clouding her vision. She started the car and started to back out. Abruptly, she put the car into park and jogged back into the house. She went straight to the bathroom and pulled the envelope out of her pants.

_If you ever see yourself stranded_...


	4. Chapter Three

Summary: AU set five years after the end of Eclipse (Epilogue - what epilogue?). _"I'm exactly right for you, Bella. It would have been effortless for us — comfortable, easy as breathing. I was the natural path your life would have taken… If the world was the way it was supposed to be, if there were no monsters and no magic…" _Jacob Black to Bella, Eclipse: Chapter 26, p.599. Bella chooses Jacob in Eclipse. The world isn't exactly the way it's supposed to be, but Bella is well on her way to her happy ending when Fate rears it's ugly head.

Pairings: Normal Cullen Pairings, Normal Werewolf Pairings, Past & Present J/B, Past E/B, End Pairing -/-?? (It's a surprise,

Warnings: Spoilers for the first three books.

Author's Note: It's been a while, and this chapter -- parts of it at least -- feel a bit rushed. What do you think? Hopefully this is fine.

If There Were No Monsters and No Magic

By: _Koinaka_

Chapter Three 

_How I wish I could surrender my soul;  
Shed the clothes that become my skin;  
See the liar that burns within my needing.  
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.  
How I wish I had screamed out loud,  
Instead I've found no meaning._

_I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,  
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.  
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.  
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.  
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain._

_How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;  
Hold memory close at hand,  
Help me understand the years.  
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.  
How I wish I would save my soul.  
I'm so cold from fear._

Bella wasn't one to make rash decisions. That was more of her mom's forte, really. No, Bella typically agonized over every little decision. Except when it came to the Cullens, that is. All rational thought seemed to leave her when it came to them. That was the only explanation for why she found herself sitting in an airport in Boston, one arm clutched tightly around her middle, the other resting on the handle of Catherine's stroller.

It was the first time since arriving in Port Angeles that she'd even thought about what it was she was actually doing. She was in Boston – a mere 68 miles from where she knew the Cullens to be. Her breath caught in her throat. She knew the route to their house very well. She'd been there often enough that one semester, hadn't she? Before everything fell apart, that house, the occupants within that house, more specifically, had been her entire world.

How was it that everything seemed to come back to them? She couldn't escape. It was overwhelming and so absolutely absurd to think of them at a time like this.

She took a deep breath, forcing her arm to fall away from her torso. It did, albeit unwillingly, hanging limply at her side for several seconds before grasping the other side of the stroller. It was far too easy to allow herself to be pulled under the torrent of her feelings, but she knew that she could ill afford to do so now. The sleeping toddler in the stroller and the butterflies dancing in her stomach reminded her that she was no longer a child, no longer able to simply fall apart.

With determination she hadn't known she possessed, Bella picked up her luggage and headed to the nearest car rental kiosk. Her heart gave an erratic offbeat thump as she pulled out the black credit card that she'd carried around for years. She'd attempted to return it before, but he had refused to accept it, saying he wanted to ensure she was taken care of. She had never been able to bear using it except now.

The clerk at the kiosk smiled brightly at Bella as she approached. "May I help you?" she asked, her voice unfailingly polite.

Bella took a deep breath. "Yes, I'd like to rent a car."

"Of course. If you could just fill this out for me, we'll have you in one in no time."

Filling out the forms had turned out to be superfluous, however, as there was already a rental car reserved in her name. One that included a car seat. Bella sighed. Obviously Alice had known Bella would accept the tickets.

An hour later found Bella and a still sleeping Catherine driving the familiar streets of Hanover, New Hampshire. A wave of nostalgia hit her and suddenly she was pulled into the not so distant past. She had been happy here. She had been _whole_ here.

Or had she? Had she really been whole? She had believed so, sincerely believed that her happiness – her very _existence _– was tied to _him_. Now, however, she wasn't so sure. She no longer wore the rose-tinted glasses of youth. Not that she wasn't still _young_ because she was. Twenty-two wasn't old by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, most days she felt like she was frighteningly too young.

Too young to be a wife. Too young to be a mother. Too young to be a divorcee. The list went on and on.

Bella contemplated, briefly, calling Alice to tell her that she was there, but she felt fairly certain that Alice already knew. Why else would she have sent the tickets? They hadn't kept in touch since Charlie and Jake had come to take Bella back to Forks.

Her cell phone lay discarded on the passenger seat beside her. She knew, without looking, that she had missed calls and no doubt voice mail. Probably even a handful of text messages. From Seth, not Jacob. Jacob was still woefully inept when it came to certain pieces of technology. Seth, however, was rather adept at texting and was accustomed to using them to keep in touch with Bella.

She ignored the flare of guilt she felt at keeping Seth and Catherine apart. No doubt he would worry, and she certainly would feel his absence, but it couldn't be helped for now. She couldn't bear to be anywhere near Jacob now, couldn't stand even the thought of it now.

Her breath hitched in her throat as she pulled into the driveway of what had once been their home. She had thrown a huge tantrum when she'd discovered he had purchased the house for her -- for _them_ -- to live in whilst in school. His reasoning had been fairly sound. For one, he thought it would be better to purchase a home than to waste thousands of dollars living on campus. His other, more logical -- to _him_ -- reason, was that he wanted a house for them to start their lives together. She hadn't been happy about it. To her, it was proof that he had no intention of turning her. That hadn't been far from the truth, and when he had finally made it clear that he would not ever turn her, it became her prison. A symbol of her mortality, of her fragile humanity, her _fleeting_ lifespan. A home, he said, for her to go grow old in. Something that would be only theirs.

But afterward, when Edward had disappeared like a thief in the night, taking all traces of him from their home, Bella refused to leave. She stopped attending classes and left the house only when absolutely necessary. She had even gone so far as to miss her flight to return to Forks at semester break. Bella never quite understood how Charlie and Jake had known to come check on her, and her memories of that time were rather vague, but when they finally _did_ arrive, they hadn't listened to her protests. They'd packed all of her belongings and taken her straight home.

The only thing now that she remembered with any clarity was the unadulterated hatred she felt toward Charlie when he had insisted on her seeking professional help. In retrospect, it was one of the best things she'd ever done. It hadn't been easy, but she had managed to put her life back together, and then to start a life with Jacob.

But now, it seemed, she had come full circle.

She sat in the drive way until Catherine began to stir and make soft noises of distress in her sleep. With a sigh, Bella exited the rental car and headed toward the front door. The hide-a-key was exactly where it was before. She unlocked the door and pushed it open before going back and collecting the still sleeping toddler. Juggling the toddler and one of her bags, she entered the house properly.

Her eyes widened as she took in the room. It wasn't as she had left it at all. Before, the furnishings had been so... formal. Elegant. Beautiful. And not her at all. Now, however, everything was... well, it was wonderful. It all looked soft and homey. Alice obviously had a hand in this. Pushing that thought from her mind, she dumped her suitcase on the couch and headed down the hallway to the main bedroom. After placing Catherine in the middle of the rather large bed, she quickly unpacked the rest of the car. She mentally made note of a shopping list as she did so. Walking through the living room, Bella noticed a not on the front of the refrigerator. A quick glance told her it wasn't the work of Edward -- she'd know _his_ script anywhere -- but Alice.

_I may have gone a bit overboard with the food, but I wasn't sure what you would like now! Please don't worry about the money -- it was my __treat. _

_And don't worry, no one but Jasper knows you're here now. _

_In fact, don't worry about _anything_. _

_See you soon,  
Alice _

Bella smiled and opened the refrigerator, her mouth gaping when she looked inside. It was filled to the brim -- a variety of fruit, milk, cheese, eggs, cold cuts for sandwiches and condiments galore. The freezer was stocked as well with frozen vegetables, meat, the chicken nuggets Catherine adored, and not to mention the chocolate peanut-butter ice cream that _she_ adored. She grabbed a handful of grapes and munched on them as she walked back down the hallway to check on Catherine. On her way, she passed the door that she and Edward had used as a guestroom before. She hadn't noticed it before, but it had been changed into a nursery for Catherine. Not only did it seem to be complete with everything she would need but there also seemed to be plenty that she didn't need -- and some things she didn't even know what they were _for!_ Not to mention the toys of which there were plenty.

A sigh escaped her lips. Well, she supposed there were worse things than having too much. Plus, Bella had long become accustomed to Alice going overboard.

Catherine was still sleeping. She'd slept the majority of the day it seemed, no doubt the change of time would have her schedule off balance, and more than likely, she would want to stay up far too late tonight. Bella crawled into bed next to her. She was exhausted and there was no telling when she'd next get the chance to sleep, so she would just have to take advantage of the time she had now.

Bella was jarred awake by the shrill ringing of her cell phone, and the odd feeling of being watched. She answered the phone without thinking to even look at the caller id beforehand.

It was Jacob.

"Bella," he breathed, relief evident in his voice. "We've -- _I've_ -- been so worried! You said you were going to Charlie's, but then you never showed up, and Seth said you hadn't been answering your phone--"

Bella cut him off, her chest constricting at hearing his voice. "I'm fine," she said, surprised at how cold her voice sounded, how completely detached she sounded. "We're both fine."

His breath came out in a _whoosh_. "That's great. Seth was beside himself. Where are you?"

"I'm sorry to have worried Seth, but we're both fine. I'll call him in a few minutes so he can talk to Catherine if he'd like," she told him, carefully avoiding his question.

There was a pause. When next Jacob spoke, his voice was strained. "Bella, where are you?"

Now it was Bella's turn to hesitate. She chewed on her lower lip for a moment before coming to a decision. She took a deep breath, and then, with more confidence than she felt, told him, "I don't think that's really any of your business."

"None of my business? That's bull and you know it. I'm your husband, Bells --"

Bella stood abruptly. "Don't say that like it means anything to you," she hissed loudly but regretted it immediately as Catherine woke and began to cry. She sighed. "Look, I've got to go, Catherine's awake. Tell Seth we'll call him later and not to worry. We're both fine." She shut the phone before he could say another word. She tossed it on the bed before picking up Catherine and speaking to her in soothing tones.

When the toddler's crying had ceased, Bella forced a bright smile on her face. "How about some dinner, baby?"

Catherine squealed. "Chick nugs! Wan' chick nugs and Se-Se!"

A dark look flitted across Bella's face, but she tickled the now smiling Catherine and headed to the kitchen, stopping along the way to grab a few of the toys.

"Wan' Se-Se!" exclaimed the toddler as Bella sat her and the toys in the kitchen floor.

"Not right now, little miss Kit-Kat. We'll call him after dinner."

Catherine's brows furrowed and her lips pursed as she contemplated Bella's proposal. Finally, she nodded. "Chik nugs," she told Bella, seriously.

"Alright," said Bella easily, smiling at Catherine as she began examining the toys. Once Catherine was otherwise engaged, Bella set about making dinner. An hour later, bathed and fed -- well, Catherine, at any rate -- Bella collected her phone. She ignored the half a dozen missed calls and called Seth's cell phone. He answered on the first ring.

"Hey!" He sounded a bit breathless. "You okay?"

Bella nodded, but then realizing he wouldn't be able to see, sighed. "I'm fine, Seth, so is Catherine. She misses you, though. Would you like to talk to her?"

"Of course!"

Bella pulled the phone away and handed it to Catherine. She smiled as she watched Catherine's face light up and the young girl began to babble excitedly. After a few minutes, Bella wrangled the phone away from Catherine and deposited her into her crib with her bottle. She kissed her goodnight and flicked the light off as she walked out of the room. When she was back in her room, she turned her attention back to Seth. "I'm sorry to have worried you," she apologized truthfully.

She heard Seth sigh. "I understand. I don't like it, but I _do _understand why you had to leave. You don't even have to tell me where you are if you don't want to. Just -- be safe, Bella, alright? And kiss Catherine for me."

Bella gave a small sigh of her own. "Thanks, Seth. I really don't mean to keep her away from you, you know? I just -- I can't _be _there right now. I don't know if I ever can, but I will tell you where we are soon, okay? You can even come and visit if you want."

This seemed to brighten Seth's mood immensely. They made plans to speak the next day before saying goodbye. She had one more call to make -- to Charlie -- but she decided to take a shower before calling him. She grabbed her bag of toiletries, a change of clothes and headed into the bathroom.

When she emerged from the steamed filled bathroom, she knew immediately that something in her room was amiss but couldn't discern what it could be. She checked the doors -- all locked -- and Catherine -- still asleep -- before sitting on the bed and quickly dialing Charlie's number. She wasn't looking forward to his at all.

"Where are you?" he demanded gruffly after a terse greeting. "Do you have any idea what you put me through? What you put _Jake _through? You can't just take off like that with Catherine, Bells, it isn't right! A man deserves to know where his family is."

Bella was shocked. She'd never heard Charlie this angry before. However, when the shock dissipated, what she felt was anger. "Catherine is my daughter," Bella reminded him pointedly. "Where I take her is my decision. I am sorry if I worried you --"

Charlie cut her off. "She's just as much as Jake's daughter as she is yours, Isabella. You have no idea what you've done, do you? Jake is a wreck. I know how he feels, and he definitely doesn't deserve to be treated like this. _You_ owe him better than this."

Everything clicked, then. Why hadn't she thought of that? Her leaving with Catherine must have eerily reminded him of Renee leaving with her when she was young. "Ch- _Dad_, look, I know how this must look for you, but you really don't know what you're talking about. My marriage is just that -- _my marriage_, and it really isn't any of your business whether I leave or stay. Besides, I'm not the one ending my marriage. Jake's got the market cornered on that one. Or did he not tell you that?"

There was silence for what felt like a long time. "Bells, I -- I'm so sorry. I just..." He trailed off.

Bella took a deep cleansing breath, forcing herself to remain calm. "I know you like Jake, Dad, I _do_, and I don't expect that to stop, not really, but you're _my_ dad, and I would really like it if you weren't always siding with him. I could use some support here." She paused. "I'll call you in a few days, alright, and we can talk then."

When Charlie spoke again, his voice was subdued. "That sounds good, Bells. Take care of yourself."

Bella closed the phone and fell back against the pillow. It was then that she noticed what was amiss. Her bedroom window was ajar. Someone had been in her bedroom, and she had a fairly good guess as to who.


	5. Chapter Four

Summary: AU set five years after the end of Eclipse (Epilogue - what epilogue?). _"I'm exactly right for you, Bella. It would have been effortless for us — comfortable, easy as breathing. I was the natural path your life would have taken… If the world was the way it was supposed to be, if there were no monsters and no magic…" _Jacob Black to Bella, Eclipse: Chapter 26, p.599. Bella chooses Jacob in Eclipse. The world isn't exactly the way it's supposed to be, but Bella is well on her way to her happy ending when Fate rears it's ugly head.

Pairings: Normal Cullen Pairings, Normal Werewolf Pairings, Past & Present J/B, Past E/B, End Pairing -/-?? (It's a surprise,

Warnings: Spoilers for the first three books.

Author's Note: Hmm. I'm not certain about this chapter, but here we get a glimpse of Bella trying to move on and Edward. Bella's a bit in shock at seeing him again, so I hope her reaction doesn't seem ridiculous. Hope you enjoy.

If There Were No Monsters and No Magic

By: _Koinaka_

Chapter Four 

_Don't know what to do anymore  
I've lost the only love worth fighting for  
And I'll drown in my tears, don't they see?  
And that would show you, that would make you hurt like me_

_All the same I don't want mudslinging games  
It's just a shame to let you walk away_

_Is there a chance, a fragment of light  
At the end of the tunnel, a reason to fight?  
Is there a chance you may change your mind  
Or are we ashes and wine?_

_Don't know if our fate's already sealed  
This days are spinning circus on a wheel  
And I'm ill with the thought of your kiss  
Coffee laced intoxicating on her lips_

_Shut it out, I've got no claim on you now_

Bella blinked owlishly at her reflection. She couldn't believe the girl repeating the action was herself. It was absurd how different she looked with only a hair cut! Of course, this was a bit more than a little trim, but still...

When she woke up that morning, she hadn't planned on doing anything so drastic to her appearance. In fact, when she woke up, she didn't think about much other than going back to sleep as her sleep the night before had been fitful at best. All night long, she had been plagued by nightmares of a faceless woman living her life and raising her children. After screaming herself awake at a quarter to five, she had given up on sleeping.

The only bright side was that instead of feeling queasy as she was so wont to do in the morning, she felt ravenous for which she was supremely grateful. Cooking had always served to relax her. Cooking was one of the only times that she was able to lose herself, to be completely blank, even if only during the preparation. Before she even realized it, she had cooked far more food than she alone would be able to eat.

Afterward, she had found herself in this same position, staring in the mirror. Only it was a very different reflection looking back at her then. It was Jacob's Bella, Edward's Bella, but not just _Bella_. It was an extremely pale girl with long, thick chocolate brown hair surrounded by a heart-shaped face whose dark eyes seemed infinitely older than her twenty-two years. Suddenly, she had been overcome with a desire to smash the mirror, to destroy it, utterly and completely. More than that, she wanted to destroy the reflection. She began to question herself.

Who was she now? Without Edward, without Jacob, who _was_ she?

She didn't know, and that simple thought frightened her. Without another thought, she had dressed herself and Catherine and left the house. She hadn't even realized where she was headed until she pulled in front of Hilde's Salon Vienna, but once she thought about it, she knew that this was exactly what she needed.

A change. Something different. And that was just what she'd told her stylist and exactly what she had received. Her once long hair now framed her face in layers, the longest of which barely grazed her chin. Never before had her hair been this short and never before had she ever had bangs. Now, she had both. Of course, the bangs were little more than one of her layers, but the sentiment was the same.

It was amazing, really, how much better a simple hair cut made her. She was starting over, starting _fresh_. A new look. A new life. A new Bella. Her heart constricted. Perhaps not Bella. Bella reminded her too much of the past. She wanted something different. _Isabella_. She'd never taken to being called that, even by her parents, but now it seemed _right_.

Over the next couple of days, Bella and Catherine settled into a routine. They spent the mornings at the park, Catherine playing and Bella taking photographs of Catherine or the other children at play. In the afternoons, while Catherine napped, Bella would read or else touch up her photographs on her laptop. Evenings were a busy time. Dinner, bath time, and story time were followed by phone calls from Seth -- who often times would report back to Jacob, Bella knew -- and then bedtime. At the end of which, Bella would fall into the bed exhausted.

After the end of the second week, Bella decided to stay in Hanover. Permanently. She liked it here, she felt at _home _here. Not only that, but she had a home here, or a house at any rate. It would be difficult, she knew, to raise three children on her own, but she thought she could do choice did she have, really? She had contemplated, albeit briefly, asking if Seth minded staying with them for a little while.

When she mentioned in passing to Seth, he had agreed at once. He was, of course, thrilled.

"_Really_? You wouldn't mind?"

She had laughed, it sounded almost natural. "I wouldn't mind. There's not much to do here --"

Seth had scoffed. "As if there's a ton to do _here_. I would love to come there and stay. As long as you need."

She still needed to talk to Jacob, though. Seth told her he could hold off on phasing for a day, maybe two, but no more, so the next day while Catherine was down for her nap, Bella picked up her cell phone and dialed a number she had been avoiding dialing for quite some time. He answered before it had a chance to ring a second time.

"Bells?" his husky voice sounded breathless.

"Jacob," she breathed out, not realizing how relieved she would feel at merely hearing his voice.

There was a pause followed by a shuffling. "How are you? How's Kit-Kat and the babies? Have you been taking your vitamins?"

Bella let out a shaky breath. "I'm fine -- _we're_ fine. All of us."

"Good. That's good. When are you coming home? Charlie really misses you, _I _miss you and Kit-Kat, of course."

Now it was Bella that paused. "That's, uh, why I am calling you, Jake. I'm not. Coming home that is. I'm staying. Here."

Bella heard the sound of shattering glass followed by a stream of curses. "What do you mean you aren't coming home?" His voice was low.

She took a deep breath and prayed that when she spoke, it would be far evener than she felt. "Just what I said. I'm not coming home, Jake. I _can't_. I don't blame you anymore," she paused, choosing her words carefully, "but don't you understand why I can't? You can't expect me to come back and pretend like nothing has happened, to pretend like we are -- like everything is okay. I _can't_. I know it's not your fault, rationally, intellectually, but I can't come back and see you with her, Jacob -- I just _can't._" Her voice wavered at the end before breaking, her eyes brimming with tears. It was the truth. Mostly. It changed from day to day it seemed. And from night to day, as well. The nights were harder. She was often too busy to think of it during the day, but at night... well, suffice it to say, it was harder then.

He sighed. "I _am_ sorry, you know? I don't think I can ever apologize enough. I just... damn it, Bella, I miss you! I still love you. That hasn't changed. It's just different now -- I'm different. But I do love you. And Catherine, of course. I need to see you, and Catherine. Can I? Would you allow that?"

"I know you're sorry, Jake, and I miss you, too. As for visiting, that's why I called. Catherine misses you and Seth, and I could use the rest of my stuff. Including my car. I thought, maybe, if it wouldn't be too much trouble... that you could bring it to me."

"Your car?" he said, slowly, as if trying to decipher a difficult math equation. "Isn't your car with _you_?"

"Errr...." she trailed off, chewing her bottom lip. "No, it's not. It's at the airport. In Port Angeles."

She heard him expel a harsh breath. "Where are _you_ at then?"

"I'm in Hanover --" she began, but was cut off by a loud crash.

"You're with _him_, aren't you?" he snarled. "You've got _my_ daughter there with that _leech_?"

Bella gasped before narrowing her eyes, though Jacob obviously could not see. "Not that it is _any_ of your concern, but no, I'm not with him. I have no idea if he is here, or where he is, even. He probably doesn't even know _I'm_ here." That was true, at least. As far as she knew, at any rate.

"Why did you go there, then? You could have gone anywhere. Why there?" His voice was flat, dull.

"Because, Jacob, I wanted to come here. I have a house here --"

"That _he_ bought you!" He interjected.

Bella sighed exasperatedly. "I never _asked_ him to buy the house, Jacob, but I'm glad he did -- _now_ -- because I like it here though. I like the town. I think I could be happy here, Jake. As happy as I can be, for now at least."

"Alright," he sighed. She heard him take a deep breath. "Your car is in Port Angeles."

"Yes, in the long-term parking. Space 716."

"So, you want me to pack up your things and _Catherine's _things, and drive your car out there."

Bella chewed nervously on her bottom lip some more. One of her hands fidgeting loosely in her lap, the other cradling the phone to her ear. "Yes."

"Okay," he sounded choked. "I'll do it. What about Seth?"

"That's the other thing I needed to talk to you about. I've asked Seth to come here, to stay with me and Catherine for a little while. I know it's hard for Catherine to be away from him, and I'm sure it's difficult for him. Plus, I could use an extra pair of hands. I've been working on a new series of photographs, but I can't work very often. Just when Catherine is sleeping. If I had help, I could work a lot more often."

"That's a _great_ idea!" Jacob exclaimed. "Really, it is. I would feel much better if I knew you -- both of you -- were protected.

"So, you'll come?" Bella asked, hesitantly.

"Yeah. I'll come."

Bella had scarcely hung up the phone before there was a loud knocking at her front door. Furrowing her brow, she headed toward the door. Not even thinking twice, she opened it. Only to come face to face with the _one_ person she hadn't expected.

Edward.

When he saw her, his eyes widened. "_Oh_," he said. "I didn't -- I mean, I apologize for coming unannounced, but Alice saw your future disappear, and I just ... I left without even thinking. But you're obviously unharmed. I'm very sorry to have intruded. I'll go."

Bella let out what could have been a laugh or a sob, she wasn't sure which. Alice must have seen Jacob coming -- or she would have if she could see werewolves. While Bella was collecting her thoughts, Edward was backing away, his eyes never leaving her. "Wait!" she exclaimed. "Come in. You can come in. If you want. You don't have to leave."

He nodded once. "If you wish."

She stepped back so he could enter the house. Once the door was closed, she drifted to the living room, cursing to herself. What in the world had gone through her mind to have invited him here? She sank onto the couch. He sat opposite her in one of the many chairs. An uncomfortable silence lapsed between them.

"Jacob is coming to bring the rest of my things," she said, finally compelled to break the silence. "That must be why Alice saw my future disappear."

Edward nodded once. Bella allowed herself to look at him fully. It was absurd how beautiful he still looked -- even after all of this time. How unchanged he was.

Another silence lapsed and Bella found herself once more compelled to break it. "I can't believe you're here. You look... _God_, you look just the same. It's crazy. It really is."

His eyes locked on hers then and she felt her cheeks heat up, no doubt she was flushing a deep crimson red. No one had ever looked at her as he did. He looked at her like he was drinking her in, trying to memorize every minute detail. He looked at her as if she was the only thing he saw. The way Jacob used to look at her -- _before_, that is.

She opened her mouth to speak again but instead of words, a sob escaped. Before she could even stop herself, she was crying uncontrollably. His face deflated, and he was at her side in a split second looking very torn. He didn't touch her -- he was very careful not to -- but he did murmur soft reassurances to her, pretty words that were too low for her to even hear, really.

"I'm sorry," she said, when the flow had seemed to ebb. She wiped her eyes with the handkerchief he had produced. Who carried handkerchiefs in this day and age, really? "I don't know why..." she sighed. "It must be the hormones. I'm a bundle of them. A mess, really." Her hand ghosted over her belly. His eyes followed, lingering for several seconds on it.

He didn't speak again until her breathing had settled into its normal pattern, until her heart rate had returned to normal. "I can hear them," he said, softly, quietly, almost reverently.

Her eyes widened in surprise. "You can hear their _thoughts_?"

He chuckled. "No, not quite. Their heartbeats," he clarified. He motioned towards the hall. "_Her _thoughts, on the other hand, those I can hear or see, rather. She thinks more in images than in words. Right now she is dreaming. Of you, of... Jacob," this was said with a bit of difficulty, "and of another man who looks quite familiar, but whose face I cannot place."

"Seth," Bella said, automatically. "He's her... well, he's _hers_. You know," she took a deep breath and forced the words out, closing her eyes as she did so. "She's his imprint."

Edward nodded. "I remember him, now, of course. I should go. She's hovering slightly above consciousness. She should be awake any moment now."

He stood and Bella stood with him. "Can I -- will I see you again?" She blurted out without even thinking.

His ocher eyes searched hers carefully. "I would like that. I owe you..." he sighed. "So much more than an explanation. I hadn't planned on accosting you today in your home. When Alice saw you disappear again, after having you back in her visions once more, I was frantic. I didn't even think of how you would feel seeing me again, after what I did..." He let out a shuddering breath. "For that, I do apologize, most sincerely."

They stared at one another for a long moment before Catherine's cry drew their attention away.

"I should..." Bella trailed off.

"Of course," he replied. "Would you like to join us for dinner tomorrow? I'm sure Esme and Carlisle would be thrilled to see you again, and Alice, of course."

Bella nodded, worrying her lower lip between her teeth. "Okay," she breathed out. "Tomorrow."

The smile he unleashed then was beatific. It startled her, entranced her completely. "Tomorrow," he agreed and was gone before Bella had a chance to say another word.

She stared at the empty doorway for another second as the emotions began crashing into her. She took a deep breath, however, and with some difficulty turned away from the door and headed towards where Catherine was waiting for her. _Later_, she thought. She could break down later. For now... for now, she had responsibilities, a daughter to see to.


	6. Chapter Five

Summary: AU set five years after the end of Eclipse (Epilogue - what epilogue?). _"I'm exactly right for you, Bella. It would have been effortless for us — comfortable, easy as breathing. I was the natural path your life would have taken… If the world was the way it was supposed to be, if there were no monsters and no magic…" _Jacob Black to Bella, Eclipse: Chapter 26, p.599. Bella chooses Jacob in Eclipse. The world isn't exactly the way it's supposed to be, but Bella is well on her way to her happy ending when Fate rears it's ugly head.

Pairings: Normal Cullen Pairings, Normal Werewolf Pairings, Past & Present J/B, Past E/B, End Pairing -/-?? (It's a surprise,

Warnings: Spoilers for the first three books.

A/N: I truly don't mean for it to be so angsty. Suppose I can't really help it. The angst should be over... well, soon_ish_. I am in the dark here. I'm not exactly sure where it's going at the moment. I know where the first version went. Those of you who've read both, is that something you are interested in? I am thinking of adding in some more flashbacks of her life with Jake. Would you be interested in that?

If There Were No Monsters and No Magic

By: _Koinaka_

Chapter Five 

_What have I got to do to make you love me  
What have I got to do to make you care  
What do I do when lightning strikes me  
And I wake to find that you're not there_

_What do I do to make you want me  
What have I got to do to be heard  
What do I say when it's all over  
And sorry seems to be the hardest word_

_It's sad, so sad  
It's a sad, sad situation  
And it's getting more and more absurd  
It's sad, so sad  
Why can't we talk it over  
Oh it seems to me  
That sorry seems to be the hardest word_

_What do I do to make you love me  
What have I got to do to be heard  
What do I do when lightning strikes me  
What have I got to do  
What have I got to do  
When sorry seems to be the hardest word_

Bella was both dreading and looking forward to seeing the Cullens once more. She'd stayed awake far later than she should have, staring for hours at photograph after photograph on her laptop, forcing herself to look at the photographs she'd taken after Edward left for the second time despite the sobs that escaped from her as she did so. It wasn't that the photographs themselves were anything of any consequence to her or to him, but she could remember, vividly, how she had felt while taking them, _why_ she had taken them, each one.

She had decided to cancel their plans twice over the course of the day before conceding defeat each time. She knew that if she stayed here -- and she was staying here -- then she would have to face them at some point or another. Better to do it now. To rip the band-aid off in one fell swoop rather than to drag it out.

And to be honest, her day couldn't possibly get any worse, really. Murphy's Law was definitely not on her side that day, not at all. She'd spent the morning, off and on, with a bout of morning sickness that put nearly all the rest to shame. She wasn't even sure if she _could_ eat that night. Not to mention, Catherine. She had wailed for what had seemed like the entirety of the day, asking for her "dada" and her "Se-Se". She was nearly inconsolable for the entire morning. Even talking to Seth and Jacob hadn't helped at all. When she finally had calmed down, she had been incredibly clingy, not even allowing Bella to do more than step away from her for a split second.

She seemed to be in better spirits after her nap, but still... all things considered, Bella felt at her wit's end. It took her nearly half an hour to decide on an outfit. She hadn't wanted to wear one of Alice's but hadn't a choice in the end. She struggled through her make up, once again using the items provided for her by Alice, hoping -- if nothing else -- that she didn't look completely ridiculous. Her hair was the easiest part as it was fairly simple to style, another reason why she simply adored it.

Getting Catherine ready had been an ordeal into itself. By the time Bella managed to wrangle her into her clothing, she was winded and more than irritated. By the time she'd strapped shoes on the toddler's feet, Bella was ready, for the umpteenth time, to call the whole thing off. But finally, they were in the rental car sitting in the driveway of the Cullens' house.

Bella took a deep breath, checked herself in the rear-view mirror and got out of the car, careful to mind her step. Her center of gravity was lacking on the best of days and pregnancy hadn't helped in the least. She extracted Catherine out of the car seat with little trouble. Although putting her down seemed to pose a bit of a problem. She whimpered and clung closer to her whenever she tried, so she settled for juggling Catherine, her diaper bag and her purse precariously as she made her way up the driveway. She half expected for someone to come out side to help, but she was happy that they didn't.

The closer she got to the door the more anxious she felt and the more anxious she felt, the closer Catherine clung to her into she was practically embedded into her side. She took another deep breath, forcing herself to relex, almost surprised when she _did_ relax, but then she realized that was probably artificial as Jasper was no doubt inside.

She knocked on the door and counted to three. She got two before the door opened. She had expected Alice or Edward. What she got was Rosalie. Rosalie whose eyes widened when she saw her. Rosalie who seemed to be almost speechless at the sight of her.

"Welcome Bella," she managed after a moment. "Please come in. It's only Esme and I for now. The others are... well, you know how persuasive Alice can be, but they should be back momentarily. Can I help you with anything?" Her eyes were on Catherine who shied away from her, burying her face in Bella's neck.

Bella sighed softly. "Thank you," Bella murmured, handing the bags to Rosalie. Rosalie then ushered them into the living room.

Esme gasped when she saw her. "_Oh_ Bella, look at you. Look at both of you. You're beautiful, _she's_ beautiful," she breathed.

Bella smiled despite her anxiousness. "Thank you," she said with a blush. "This is Catherine. Catherine, can you say hi?"

Catherine shook her head. Bella sighed again, smiling apologetically at Esme as she sat down, rearranging Catherine as she did. "She's a bit shy around new people," she said by way of explanation.

"Of course," Esme said, her ocher eyes bright. A buzzer went off in the kitchen, and Esme hurried out to check on it with the promise to return soon.

A few seconds passed by in which neither spoke. Rosalie studied her, however, with a look of longing on her face. "How far along are you?" she asked, finally, her curiosity seemingly getting the better of her.

"17 weeks," Bella answered.

"Congratulations." Bella was a bit taken aback by how completely sincere Rosalie sounded. "You must be excited. I've never been so close to someone with child before since my turning. It's... quite amazing to hear their heartbeats. Can you..." she hesitated. "Can you feel them?"

Bella didn't even think to wonder how Rosalie knew she was carrying twins. Like Edward, she had obviously heard their heartbeats. Or perhaps Alice had told her. Bella had never been close to Rosalie before, for good reason, but for whatever reason, she felt an odd bond with the vampire now.

Bella nodded. "Yeah," she said. "It feels... odd. Like tiny butterflies fluttering inside. For now at least. Later on, with Catherine at least, it's more like... well, like a cheerful and rather persistent baseball bat bludgeoning my organs."

Catherine finally seemed ready to interact with something other than Bella's neck. Slowly, she pulled herself away from Bella and hesitantly watched Rosalie. After a bit of cajoling from Bella and a cookie from Esme, Catherine had finally deigned herself to standing on her own two feet. Once there, she opened up as expected. She smiled at Esme, a soft unassuming smile as she edged toward the plate of cookies Esme had set out on the table. The trio pretended not to notice when she grabbed another cookie.

By the time that the others arrived, Rosalie and Catherine were tucked onto the couch reading from a book. That hadn't been quite Rosalie's intentions, of course, but Catherine was relentless when she made her mind up. Stubborn. Obstinate. She'd gotten both traits naturally, of course.

Catherine had declared Rosalie to be, in her words, a "pretty princty" which translated into, roughly, "pretty princess" and after further inspection had rummaged through the bag before producing what appeared to be a notebook but were actually some of the different legends about the Quillete tribe. She loved hearing them, over and over again, though she was so young, she had no concept of their meaning, of course. To her, the just equaled Daddy as Jacob had typically been the one to read to her more often than not. She'd then walked over to Rosalie and demanded, pretty as you please, "_Up!_"

The look on Rosalie's face, one part curiosity, one part horror, and another part terror, had almost been amusing. A second later and Catherine's brow had furrowed. Another second had passed, after which her lower lip had begun to tremble as she repeated her demand. Rosalie's eyes had flitted to Bella, her expression panic stricken.

A reassuring smile was Bella's easy response. "You can pick her up if you'd like. I know you'll be careful."

Reluctantly, Rosalie had done so. The two had been inseparable ever since though scarcely an half-hour had passed.

The entire atmosphere changed when the others arrived becoming more charged. As she heard the door beyond what she assumed to be the kitchen open and then subsequently close, the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. When they entered the room both Bella and Catherine's heads whipped to where they stood. For several long seconds, no one said anything. Then, finally, Alice broke the silence. She bounded across the room and with what appeared to be restraint, on her part, wrapped herself -- carefully -- around Bella.

Alice was followed by Emmett and a reluctant Jasper. Finally, Carlisle embraced her gently. "Bella, you're looking lovely as ever. I am pleased to see you again," Carlisle's warm voice swept over her.

Bella gave him a wry smile, shaking her head and laughing softly, though her heart didn't feel into it. "As lovely as a beached whale, perhaps..." She said, snorting derisively.

"Hush," admonished Esme, earning a guffaw from Emmett and a chuckle from the rest of the family.

Catherine was more accustomed to males, in particular rather _large _males, so she wasn't deterred by Emmett's bulky presence. Her eyes had widened and she'd breathed out, softly, "_Bear_!" causing the room to explode once more into laughter.

Her declaration had been followed by Emmett's somewhat contained impression of a bear that sent Catherine into a fit of delighted giggles.

"Again!" She had demanded once she caught her breath. Emmett seemed pleased as punch to have a captive audience, so he was only too willing to acquiesce.

Edward hung back, apart from the rest of the room, observing everything with a weighted look about him. Bella didn't know what to say to him, so she said nothing. She allowed herself to be pulled away by a gushing Alice. She left Catherine in Rosalie and Emmett's capable hands and followed Alice up the stairs and into what she assumed to be her room.

Once the two friends were shut away, Alice gave Bella a sad smile. "Bella," was all she got to say before the flood gates opened.

Amidst her tears, Bella told Alice what had happened from the moment in Seattle until that very morning. Alice hadn't said a word. She'd simply sat next to Bella and comforted her as best she could. When the tears were gone, Bella pulled away, wiping her eyes as she sighed.

"What have you seen?" she asked, almost afraid to know the answer.

Alice's expression was guarded. "Not much," she admitted with the a sigh of her own. "You know how the werewolves affect my ability. For years I went without a vision of you. Up until a month ago. After that they were blurry, out of focus, but still there. I didn't even think, honestly, Bella. It was a spontaneous thing mailing the tickets to you. I wasn't even sure if you would take them. Everything was hinging on a precipice -- still is, I should say. Since yesterday, your future has become blank once again."

Bella chewed on her bottom lip. "Seth is coming, that must be why. I don't know if I can ever thank you enough, Alice. You've always been so wonderful to me, and I'm a rotten friend. Do you forgive me for not keeping in touch with you over the years? I know that," here Bella sighed and paused for a moment before continuing, "Edward and I fell apart, but that wasn't an excuse. I should have made more of an attempt to contact you."

Alice's brow furrowed. Her ocher eyes confused, her lips pursed. "Of course I forgive you, Bella," she said.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Bella asked, catching onto Alice's ill thoughts immediately.

"Nothing is _wrong_, per say... it's just... Bella, I _did_ try and contact you, I did. After... the last time, I resolved to keep in contact with you in spite of everything else. I called once, but when Charlie told me you had been hospitalized and he thought it best I not contact you anymore, I admit, I listened to him. I was worried about you, Bella, tremendously worried. You know about my human life. I spent the last years of my life in an institution. I wouldn't wish that on anyone."

Bella sucked in a harsh breath, suddenly angry. "He had _no_ right," she hissed. She stood up on shaking legs. "_No_ right." She repeated. She closed her eyes as she found to keep her emotions in check. Before she could respond further, she felt a vibration in her pocket.

She noticed Alice frown. "Werewolf," she murmured.

Bella sighed. Must be Jake. She pulled the phone out. Nope, wrong werewolf. It was Seth. "Hey Seth, you guys on the road yet?" She asked after flipping the phone open.

"About that, Bella..." She heard Seth sigh heavily. "Jake's not coming."

Bella felt her chest tighten. She let out a shuddering breath. "He's not coming," she repeated, anguish laced in every word. Against her will, her eyes welled with tears.

"He can't, Bells. I swear, he would if he could. I'm lucky _I _get to come as it is," Seth exclaimed.

"Stop," Bella spit out, coldly, wrapping her free hand around her belly. "I can't stand to hear you make excuses for him. If he can't be _man_ enough to tell me on his own that he can't be bothered with me -- with _us_-- then I don't want to know, Seth."

There was a pause. "Bella, it's not that he didn't _want _to. He did -- he _does_, but he --"

"Can't," Bella finished. "Got it, thanks for the message. Did he manage to pack my things or is that too much trouble for him, too?"

Another sigh. "We got them. Bella, please, he really did want to come, but he couldn't. He's Alpha, so the pack has to come first, you know that."

That was definitely the wrong thing to say to Bella. Her eyes narrowed and her lip curled into a sneer. "Don't worry," she snarled. "I know better than most that the _pack_ comes first. No reminder needed, thanks."

"Bells," it was a sigh. "I'm sorry."

"Don't bother, Seth. Look, I'm going to go, alright? I can't deal with this now," she replied tiredly.

"I wish I could tell you -- but I can't. Jacob placed an injunction. I really am sorry. Just be safe, okay? I'm leaving in the morning. I call you along the way and let you know how things are coming."

Bella's brow furrowed. "Tell me what?"

"The reason he can't come."

"I don't really care, Seth. Jacob's made his decision, and I... well, I guess I have to live with it, don't I?" She snapped the phone shut, not even stopping to say goodbye.

"Oh, Bella..." Alice murmured, mournfully.

Ignoring Alice's protests, Bella stumbled to the door. Bile rose in her throat as she made her way downstairs. Edward's perceptive gaze nearly pinned her to wall when she met it. She felt sick, terribly sick.

"I... can't," she stammered, softly. "I can't be here. I shouldn't have come. This was a mistake. I appreciate... everything, I do, but I shouldn't have -- it's too soon. I can't. I have to go."

She went to gather Catherine's belongings, refusing to meet anyone's gaze. It was Carlisle who approached her. "Bella, why don't you sit down?" he asked, his voice soft, almost wary, as if he were speaking to a particularly skittish animal. "You don't look well."

Bella shook her head quickly, but before she could do anything further, the bile that had been threatening to rise finally did, and Bella was sick all over their pristine white carpet.


	7. Chapter Six

Summary: AU set five years after the end of Eclipse (Epilogue - what epilogue?). _"I'm exactly right for you, Bella. It would have been effortless for us — comfortable, easy as breathing. I was the natural path your life would have taken… If the world was the way it was supposed to be, if there were no monsters and no magic…" _Jacob Black to Bella, Eclipse: Chapter 26, p.599. Bella chooses Jacob in Eclipse. The world isn't exactly the way it's supposed to be, but Bella is well on her way to her happy ending when Fate rears it's ugly head.

Pairings: Normal Cullen Pairings, Normal Werewolf Pairings, Past & Present J/B, Past E/B, End Pairing -/-? (It's a surprise,

Warnings: Spoilers for the first three books.

Wow. It's been like three years since I updated. I really have no excuse other than I fell out of the Twilight fandom after the release of Breaking Dawn. That plus college and now graduate school has kept me ridiculously busy. I'm working on a seminar paper on Twilight, however, and after reading through the series again inspiration struck! I can't promise very regular updates as school keeps me busy, but I _can _promise it will be within the next month or so!

If There Were No Monsters and No Magic

By: _Koinaka_

You know how the time flies  
Only yesterday was the time of our lives  
We were born and raised  
In a summer haze  
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited  
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.  
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded  
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you  
I wish nothing but the best for you too  
Don't forget me, I beg  
I remember you said,  
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Nothing compares  
No worries or cares  
Regrets and mistakes  
They are memories made.  
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Adele-Someone Like You

Chapter Six 

It took Bella nearly an hour to convince the Cullens that she was, in fact, perfectly fine. Or as fine as she could be given the circumstances at any rate. Not that this seemed to console _certain _members of the family, but Edward always had been prone to overreaction. In the end, she had conceded to spending the night in one of the many guest bedrooms—one that seemed to be personalized especially for her, along with a crib for Catherine.

Alice was, unaspiringly, largely unapologetic. "Well," she had said as she flitted around the room, opening drawers and rummaging through the closet to produce pajamas for both Bella and Catherine. "I _might _have seen that you would be spending some time here."

Bella had only sighed. She knew better than most that it was just easier to agree with Alice.

The rest of the night had gone fairly smoothly surprisingly. She had expected some difficulties when it came to bedtime because Catherine was rather finicky about new surroundings, but she had fallen asleep almost immediately. Of course, that was probably more due to Emmett wearing her out than anything else, but after the day she'd had, Bella would take it.

The only thing that _hadn't _gone smoothly was Bella falling asleep herself. For some reason, she felt unusually restless. She stayed in bed under the pretense of attempting sleep until the babies decided that bouncing on her bladder was fun. It was only then that she left the protection of her new room.

However, no sooner had she stepped out into the hall did she realize she'd forgotten what Alice had said about the bathroom. She was sure that Alice had told her which room it was, but for the life of her she couldn't remember. She tried the door she thought it might be—the second door on the right—only to find herself in a very lavish bedroom. A lavish bedroom covered in her photographs. A lavish bedroom containing Edward, who was currently staring at her with his head tilted to one side and a perplexed look on his face.

The breath whooshed out of her as she looked from one photograph to the other. He had nearly all of her entire collection on his bedroom wall.

"You have my photographs," Bella said inanely with a slight inflection in her voice as if she wasn't quite sure whether it was a question or a statement.

"I—yes," Edward said. He shuffled the papers in his hand, placed them on his desk, and then pushed himself out of his chair in one fluid movement. "You're very talented, but of course you must know that."

"Bathroom," she blurted out a minute later, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had fallen. "Alice told me where it was, only obviously I got it wrong because…"

"It's just across the hall."

She was just turning to go when Edward called out to her. Hesitantly, she turned back around.

She waited, an expectant look on her face, but for the first time in probably ever, Edward seemed to be at a loss for words.

"Pleasant dreams," he said at last.

Not knowing what else to do, she settled on just nodding before fleeing for the bathroom.

The next morning Bella awoke feeling better than she had in days. It took her a moment to remember exactly where she was, but once she had, she settled back down onto the pillow. Until, that is, she happened to glance at the alarm clock on her bedside and saw that it was nearly noon.

Her eyes darted around the room before finally settling on the empty crib. Frantic, she was halfway out the door when she heard Catherine crying in the kitchen followed by a very familiar melodious voice.

"I think not. Cookies, though delicious, I'm sure, do not count as proper nutrition."

The scene Bella stumbled on caused her heart to thud painfully in her chest. Catherine was sitting in a booster seat at the picturesque dining room table while Edward, with the Cullens watching on, attempted to convince her to eat what appeared to be a gourmet meal filled with foods even she didn't recognize.

"Reasoning with a two year old never works," she said.

"Mama!" Catherine crowed happily, her tears forgotten the moment she caught sight of Bella.

"Ah," Edward said. "I suppose you're right, though I do have more insight into her mind than most." He tapped the side of his head with one of his long, pale fingers.

"You little faker," Bella said as she extracted the now squirming toddler from the booster seat and settled her onto her ever expanding lap. She surveyed the large banquet of food on the table before turning to Esme and Rosalie who seemed to be the most distressed by the situation. "This looks wonderful, but Catherine's always been a bit of a picky eater. I've found that simple foods are much easier. Do you have any carrots? Or apples?"

Five minutes later, Catherine was happily munching on a plate filled with apples slices and baby carrots while Bella herself was working on the large heaping plate of breakfast food that Esme had put in front of her. One by one the other Cullens had exited the room until only Alice was left with her.

"I'm surprised you didn't see this," she commented to Alice.

Alice's expression turned to one of petulance. "I can't see her clearly. _You_, I can see, but she's so fuzzy." She paused, her eyes going blank for a moment. "I can, however, see that Charlie let it slip to Renee that you left, so you should be expecting a phone call from her later today. She'll try and convince you to come to Jacksonville."

Bella sighed. Great, that was _just _what she needed. "Thanks for the warning."

Alice squeezed her arm gently. "It shouldn't be too bad. She doesn't seem angry."

A dark look flitted across Bella's face and a scoff escaped from her lips. "She wouldn't," she muttered.

At Alice's confused look, she continued. "She's probably _happy_. She's never agreed with my decision to…" She closed her eyes against the pain that welled in her chest. A tear spilled down her pale cheek. She took a moment or two to compose herself before speaking once again. "She hasn't been very supportive. It's been months since I last spoke to her. She doesn't even know I'm pregnant again."

Alice opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, her eyes went blank once more. Bella, recognizing the signs of a vision turned her attention back to Catherine who had somehow managed to get ahold of one of the syrup bottles while she was distracted and was in the process of squeezing it out all over the table and herself.

She smiled when she saw Bella's attention on her. "Sticky! Hands sticky!" she thrust her hands in Bella's face to prove her point.

"Oh, Kit-Kat, what am I going to do with you?"

In response, Catherine patted Bella on both cheeks with her sticky hands. "Sticky," she said again, her little face solemn. "Mama sticky."

"Yes," Bella agreed. "Mama is definitely sticky. How about a bath, and then we'll call Se-se?"

Catherine's squeal was answer enough.

Alice seemed to come out of her vision as Bella struggled to carry the sticky toddler out of the dining room. Her eyes were wide with horror. Before Bella could ask what was wrong, she plastered a cheerful smile on her face and flitted out of the room. Bella thought it was strange, but she didn't think too much about it because she had her hands full with Catherine.

By the time both she and Catherine were free of syrup, Alice was back to her normal—or normal for her—self. The only strange thing was that the other Cullens seemed to have disappeared leaving the house oddly quiet.

"They went hunting," Alice told her when she asked. Her voice was calm and even, but there was a slight edge to her voice that hadn't been there before. "How about we go back to your house? We can have a girl's night, won't that be fun?"

"I don't know," she said wearily.

"Bella."

Alice's eyes were wide and beguiling. Bella scowled briefly before sighing. "Fine. Let me just try calling Seth again."

She dialed Seth's cell phone number and waited for him to answer. The phone rang several times before clicking over to voice mail.

"Huh," she said, tucking the phone back into her pocket. "That's weird."

"What's weird?" Alice asked as she deftly dressed Catherine in an outfit Bella had never seen before.

"He didn't answer. He's _never_ not answered before. He's ridiculously good about it. He's so devoted to Catherine."

Bella worried her bottom lip between her teeth, an uneasy feeling settling into her stomach. Seth had said something was going on on the reservation last night, but Bella had dismissed it thinking it was just another of Jacob's excuses. Maybe…maybe something terrible had happened.

But what?

She pulled the cell phone out of her pocket and dialed Seth's number again. When he didn't answer, she tried Jacob's. And then Leah's.

No one answered.

Finally, she dialed Emily's number, but again no one answered. It just rang and rang and rang.

She tried off and on all afternoon to get ahold of _someone _on the reservation. She was tempted to call Charlie, but she didn't want him mixed up in whatever was going on—if there was something going on.

Alice tried to distract her, tried to convince her that everything was fine, but Bella remained apprehensive all the same.

"You can't see the wolves," Bella reminded her. "So you can't say for certain that everything is fine."

To that, Alice had had no retort.

Catherine had picked up on her anxiety causing her to become clingier than usual, and by the time she had finally fallen asleep, Bella was at her wit's end.

"Sit down!" Alice finally told her after watching her pace around the living room for the fourth time. "You're going to make yourself sick—_that_ much I can see. I know it must be difficult, but you have to take care of yourself."

Bella took a deep breath and sank down onto the couch, knowing that Alice was right. She allowed Alice to put on the first of two movies, but afterward she could scarcely remember the title of the movies let alone what they'd been about. Still, she had to admit that she had enjoyed spending time with Alice. Over the years she had missed Alice terribly, but she had known that keeping in touch with Alice would have done much more harm than good especially considering Jacob's feelings about the Cullens.

Bella slept fitfully that night, tossing and turning for hours. Sometime near dawn, she finally gave up on sleep and wondered through the house looking for Alice. She found a short note on the refrigerator saying she was nipping out for a quick bite and would be back soon. She was just about to head back to bed when her cell phone rang.

It was Seth.

"You're okay," she breathed out in relief.

There was silence for a moment. "Yeah, 'course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I've been trying to get a hold of you all day."

Seth paused again. "Oh. Well, I didn't have any missed calls. Bad reception, I guess. It'll probably take me another day or so to get there. Maybe sooner if I can manage it. Are you okay? How's Kit-Kat?"

"_We're _fine. It's you I was worried about. I couldn't get a hold of anyone on the reservation. What's going on there? Is everything okay—is Jacob okay?"

When Seth spoke again, his voice sounded odd, strangled almost. "Don't worry about a thing, Bells. Everything is just fine. Give Cathy a kiss for me, okay?"

"Seth—"

He cut her off before she could continue. "I'll call you again when I can."

The line cut off then signaling the end of the phone call. She listened to the dial tone for several seconds before finally hanging up.

She felt marginally better having heard from Seth, but she knew that something _was_ going on.

The only question was what.


End file.
